• what is within me stays in me for a long while.
    i implode, and disaster takes me off my feet.
    if i let it out to a being, i regret.
    .
    feelings begin to come out like fireworks
    all over the place.
    loneliness becomes my best friend
    darkness my comfort zone.
    .
    my mind plays tricks on me
    going against my own being.
    at times of difficulty, I only have myself...
    but even then i am left to rot alone, to deteriorate
    then find my way back, eventually.
    .
    in writing. in expressing
    i find a part of myself.
    letting out. letting in
    no strings are attached.
    .
    i have come only to express myself
    to pour out my heart, my mind, my soul
    an attempt to set myself free...
    .
    rumble through my thoughts
    you may express whatever it is you want to express.

12.26.10

wow so today is already 5 days away from the new year. it has been an incredible year, an experience i would never want to exchange for the life of me. whether it was new relationships, facing my fears, and growing as a person. all in all it has been something i have always been … Read more

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12.21.10

why can i talk to you and only you what is it with people with over promises? can i really believe them wen they say i’m with you ‘support you all the way’ what is this bullshit they say i would tell u how to make it in a shorter way but i don’t wanna … Read more

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12.21.10

breath in breath out breath in breath out ahhh it feels a little better. blink wide blinks to clear the salty liquid from dripping into tears again these feelings seem to come and go. when will i ever get ride of this shit hole. i dunno, is it me or is it something exterior. it … Read more

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12.19.10

hatred sadness i sense a feeling that i don’t want to feel i feeling that i am not a feeling of giving up i am not alone i am not alone here there is the kid inside of me that motivates me that pulls me back to reality together we will create the life we … Read more

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12.13.10

so now i’m on my way back. back to a beginning. a continuation. back to life. back to enjoying a struggle. it will pass. one day. i will look back at it all and laugh. it will pass by. time always passes. our memory is the only thing that we have that reminds us time … Read more

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12.09.10

imm on my way now to a different country. hmm wow i can tell you lots changed since the last time i rote. It’s been a great ride. Ups downs.  but with everything that has been happening i keep going higher. in everything in life from all the experiences we learn a lot. and it’s … Read more

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09.18.10

i don’t know what it is. these feelings, these thoughts. why do they happen, why do they occurre. is it to test me? so i cannnot give into them. or are they to satisfiy me mentally? so i cannot actually do them. or just to tease me? i’ve lived, and i’ve done… it’s time to … Read more

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08.16.10

i need someone to talk to. to let it out. to say everything from my heart. without any judgments. with out any feelings of misunderstandings. i want to be free. but who could it be? i have found that the wall is the best answer. it does not have a mouth. but then who will … Read more

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06.11.10

i don’t understand. i get this rage up madness, of anger. its not fair. if only they organize their time right. if only we have a set plan that is done rite, for the better right of everyone else. no. no it cant be done, no because we are lazy, no because its not us, … Read more

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03.31.10

again again without a purpose without a life again the feeling of the unwhole of being alone of being not wanted? no no its being useless. it means nothing to me to being alive this headache of being alive is driving me insane. again the feelings and actions that need to be replicated again it … Read more

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