mydeliverance

i need someone to talk to.
to let it out.
to say everything from my heart.
without any judgments. with out any feelings of misunderstandings.

i want to be free.

but who could it be?
i have found that the wall is the best answer. it does not have a mouth.
but then who will tell me it will al be okay?

i dont care i just want to be able to talk, to let it out.
how have i come this far. i have never allowed my self to go through what i have the past few months.
i feel like an idiot, brining up the past opened emotional doors for me.
i just want to let it out to someone. someone who will tell me its okay..
i cant help but be hard on myself.

i cant keep letting parts and pieces of my feelings to people who dont even respond.
i feel rejected. why bother asking? i just talk to too much.

i need to let it in, keep it deep down inside. no one wants to hear these things. no one wants to hear complaints. people can hardly live their own lives.

i feel so silly sometimes, things that i have done. positions i put myself in so i can excel. become better. but then i feel.. for what? what am i doing. am i doing it rite? do i go on? what do i do!
what do i do?
what do i do.

i dunno…
i know ill get a sign, perhaps.
it will get better, or ill just forget about it… and life will go on.
at this moment in time, its so difficult. its frustrating. and its depressing.

how much longer do keep faking that everything is okay?
will it get better? and disappear as only a stepping stone?

i dunno…
only time will tell.
i will have to bare the pain till then.
bare it alone, just between you and me.